AnD hE mAkEs Me Go CrAzY

why must he make it so much more complicated for e to just love hi like a friend. he says he wants e to be able to hook up with him withought emotions being involved...i say i try not to but it's not my fault i emotional person he told me he like it when he kissed his body his exact words were "but really its so fucking sexy" well that puts e in a really awkward position.. what do i say to that... there's nothing i can say except your welcome? umm i not sure what your looking for here. i gave this same kid hand once and he begged for it again a second time.i said no because i didnt want to get hurt. he said fine but still had e kiss him everywhere which i was okay with but wish he could have done that to me... he makes e so scared nights he texts e i dont know what he tells his friends whats going on when i talk to him.i just don't know and i scared to trust him again he's broken his promise way to any times and enough is enough people say im always bright and happy and people like to be around me but when im not around people im so sad because i just wonder whats going through peoples heads. you never will know what they're really thinking unless you're like edward cullen... i love the kid i've been talking about i try hard not to but i do i have this whole year. and he makes me go crazy.

THE XX!!!!

Love is a scary thing.

i don't want my name to go out for real it's easier to write when it's all anonymous. thats how i like it. we're not all perfect we all have are problem and struggles and i think my struggle is guys in general one kid asked me on a dat but i dont like him like that. i like this one other guy who i've known this whole year and everythings been on and off i don't i've gone the farthest with him and he knows that but it's all still confusing i can't tell if he likes me or not it sucks. he wants me to go farther but i'm scared i will get hurt. i think i love him i have never felt like this about a guy ever before and i have had a ton of boyfriends...but i have never dated this kid we thought about it but then we figured out we shouldnt. understandable things that goes farther into detail then i should go. i'm scared definitely.

THE SAME AS ALWAYS

today was a good day. it was raining because it's spring and all i could think about was thee pizza i would eat when i got home. i had to get all my teachers to sign my stupid yellow card for downstage which wasn't exciting...only because i only got about half. i was rushed in eating my lunch today. i ate hamburger sliders and smiley face fries, they never get old. i feed them to the kids i babysit. they love them. I'm trying to read this new book the catcher in the rye. i heard we had to read in later on in high school so i thought i should get a head start on things in theatre me Claudia and Chris kept laughing at the dances we were making up to ice ice baby. we're doing a scene together that we all helped write by ourselves and so far my teacher loves it. in math i didn't do the homework until about thirty seconds before the class but somehow managed to get it done. how, i don't know. i cape home and realized that there had been only two pieces of pizza left so i grabbed them before anyone else did. for a while before my homework i was procrastinating my usual day right there. and now I'm sitting on my bed as bored as could be writing this. i could be planning for my in class essay tomorrow but I'd rather write about my extremely boring and uneventful life! i hope i get a certain text later today that might cheer me up for a bit.